Thanks .....

   Last post so whiney. Sorry 'bout that. Thank you for the kind comments, Maigre and Mich.

Shout Out To Some Friends

  Oh, Peri, your last post was filled with such sadness and desperation. i am so very sorry you are hurting so. i wish so much there were something , anything i could do to help you know what a cherished and wonderful person you are. i would swoop over to your place and hug you and tell you in person if i could.  Please know how much you are loved.

 Diana  Thank you so much for your sweet e-mail. Wow, you answered fast!  It usually takes me days to weeks...ask anyone!  Once again, your tribute to Dad was just beautiful and i am glad to have this chance to thank you publicly!  Miss your darling family, hugs to Jason and little Blake, big one for yourself as well!

Mich  Yay for the news about your Uncle!  To borrow a term from you...Squee!!!  What on earth were those (So called) Doctors thinking?   "Is this a piece of your brain?"  Kudos for the "Fawlty Towers" reference!
I loved the piano piece your nephew played...just beautiful...now i need to see the movie, it sounds amazing.   So, 1/2 hour on the treadmill doesn't count?  Uh, oh...time for me to "kick it up"...way more than a notch!  What can i say, i am a lazy a#$!   Loved the "HMS Mich"...i am sorry about the sinking ship, though.  Am there, doing that...UGH!!!!   i hope things get better, talk about ingrained thoughts and follow through, yes?   Sending love.

     Hello to all of you, my Buds....love you!

          

"Here's To Babies..."

    i miss my little Corby and Blake...i miss all my friend-relatives.  Just wanted them to know that.  Thank you my dear Blogger Friends for being there for me.

   Annnnd now, because it's a great and funny scene that reminded me of babies...... Ha, it's in the wrong place, naturally.


    Mich   i am so sorry about your Uncle, having just "been there" myself, i know what it's like.....it's so hard to be far away from extended family, that's how it is when i'm back in Virginia.   Wish i could do something to help.....

      Love All of you...and again, wish i could post to you!

  PS   Magire  My sweet  You are 5'6'' tall and 115.7 lbs?????   You, my dear are tiny!  i am so sorry you can't see it for yourself!  Hugs!

Now,It's Just Me And Mum....and the Ghosts......

  Put Hub and Son on a plane back home today...Niece Diana and family have been gone, it seems like....forever.....left the Ririe Clan in St. George...Don't know when the Phillips will come a'callin' (hint , hint!). Just me and Mum and a house full of ghosts.

Oh, Mich.....Why do we do it?   These days, it's starve all day, then BINGE, no wonder i'm FAT....guees it could be worse, i could eat in the day as well. i wouldn't know "normal eating" if it came up to me and bit me in the ass. i too am a hamster on a wheel...if only for the exercise...finally got on the 'mill for a total of 32 min today..., Geeze, t, don't knock yourslf out, LOSER!!!!!!!!  i LOVE you and your drawings!  And, you ARE a Saint!  If you got bruised from canoeing....you are THINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

    Will post later......Sometime when..................

Hello, Dear Friends.....

Mich, No, No, It's me in the video! Argh, all the funeral food! i think i have gained 5 pounds!  GAH!  So, how are the Aunties doing? Needless to say, i loved the Apocolypic Pic of them and the ponies-glorious!  Cannnot imagine a house like that, even living in my folks "mansion" (compared to our humble abode).And, no, it's tracy (NINE years to get a Bachelors degree)=Major Life Failure! Anyhow, i hope you are doing well and send my love and a package soon!

Peri  Naughty kitty!   i hope the new meds are working out! Glad they are finally taking you seriously! Dumb $&^^$^^#%%#!   About time! i completely understand about the self harm, too well...please try to stay safe...said the pot to the kettle....Miles loves you! No, he cannot do better than you!  Never, my dear one! School sounds like it sucks royally....!  xoxo

Maige   No way are you ever "cold hearted".....Look how wonderful you are to me! So very sorry about how you Dad is treating you..it can hurt so much...i know...ugh...i have gained a bunch of weight on this "funeral food"  yuckies!   Loves to you!

   Have to sign off for now....more later, i love you all

...but, Who is this Guy?

    Thank you ever so much, Peri, Mich, In the Pink , Maige and Demented Wench for your oh so lovely and sweet comments. You all in the blogger world are my only "real friends" outside of family and i can't say thank you enough  for helping me through these past 6 weeks .   i adore and appreciate your thoughts so very much!


  The family, mostly my Mom, wrote out a lovely obituiary notice that was to run in Sunday's paper...imagine our surprise when....a different man's photo was posted!  i mean, he looked like a nice man...but it sure wasn't Dad!

  If you all could only have been here for the past week...my Nephew's Mission Farewell talk in church and Niece's Baby blessing (Blake-a doll baby), Dad's passing, the viewing last night and again this morning....the funeral (which went lovely, bye the way, my dear hubby even read a story he had created about my Mom and Dad-"Bellle Mere and Bon Pere")...my sweet son was a Pallbearer and even socialized amazingly. i was so proud of both of my "boys".

      i will write more about the funny things that have been happening, with a "houseful"...please be assured, i AM reading your blogs and so wish i could comment...perhaps here?   It's a thought.


         Loves to All of You, My Sweets,
                     tracy

Goodbye Dad, i Love You

       My Dad died early this morning, on his own terms, alone-i think to spare us, his family from being there with him.

      Dad, i love you with all my heart, i know you are at peace and no longer in pain and humiliation. i am so happy i had the past few weeks here with you, to enjoy the humour you kept almost to the end, to hold your hand and kiss you on the cheek and head, to help care for you. Thank you, Dad, for being there for me, always.

    Mom, i love you so...whatever i can do to help you through this very, very difficult time, i will be there.


    And thank you, my dear friends, for being there for me.

              Much Love,
                  tracy

What, Huh?.......

So, part of my family is here back in Salt Lake City aad i am soooo happy they are here, yet, i mentionned the "It Gets Better " project and i might as well have been from been from...ahh, Mars or someplace. Am i that out of place..or what? i guess so. Rather than get upset. i count it as their loss.

And by the way, i bought one of their t-shirts today...if only it would come before they leave! :)

Ha, ha, Mom Called me the "S" word the Other Day...And i Miss You All Sooooo Much!

So....Mom called me "slender" yesterday...isn't that just another word for FAT? At least, in "my" book. Don't wanna be "slender". Wanna be THIN. So, anyway.....

Life here goes on...at least for now. It's so sad to see Dad like this...makes me want to cry...yep, i sometimes do. (Was the begining of this sentence super crass? Probably.)

Lots of family coming here next week. i am soooo looking forward to it. Yay!

Still trying to find a way to comment on your blogs. Stupid computers here. When big Sis is here, i can use hers, she said and maybe i can say a quick Hello.

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments. You bring tears of joy to me!

Loves!

i'm so sorry

About the last blog. i feel like i really hurt many people that have been so nice and accepting of me. At the moment i wrote it, i was feeling so alone and since the computers here won't let me post on most of my friends blogs, i took it out on many wonderful people...

i apologize.

As a dear firend Sara, who e-mailed me, as she can't get in to comment, "....take kindness where you can get it...". i may not have the quote exactly right, but you get the idea. So very true.

Thank you Sara and and you lovely commenters, for teaching me a very valuable lesson.